“Where we’re going we don’t need Rhodes” the famous line by Doc Brown that caused a whole island of Greeks and thousands of puffed up scholars to bow their heads in disappointment. Some maintain that the line should actually be written “Where we’re going we don’t need roads”. And they defend this interpretation with various lines pulled out of context and a whole myriad of conspiracy theories with which I will not bore you. What I think we can all agree on is that the Back to the Future movies set the advancement of time travel back decades.
The common portrayal of time travel in our media is all wrong. You can’t achieve it with electrical circuits, complex equations, and discontinued car models. Time travel is an organic process and is one of the most basic functions of the human body. It is a coping technique developed by our ancestors millennia ago. Fight, flight, or flux.
Think about one of the most tragic events of your life. Your body realized that your mind could not cope with all the emotion in that instant so it opened a portal in the space-time continuum and sent many layers of those emotions to your future selfs* to smooth the consumption of pain over time. This is why one event can make you feel sad for years and years after the event.
*Actually not “selves” here because I just decided that when talking about multiple instances of one’s own self the plural will be “selfs”.
It is a widely known (yet closely guarded) fact that most heart attacks are caused by a shock the mind or body experienced decades before. The body just sent too much of the original shock in one packet, so when the future self received it was overwhelmed. Because emotions have such little mass, they are easier to send into the future. Emails and blog posts also have small amounts of mass. I have some small mastery of time travel, so as a demonstration, while I wrote and posted this on Sunday evening per my goals, it will not display until Tuesday night.
One of the problems is that sometimes the emotion isn't the only thing that gets sent to the future. Sometimes memories get sent off too. So you might forget something until years later when the emotion hits. Once I forgot how to tie my left shoe. I went around for years with a shoe lace on my right foot and Velcro on my left until the day I remembered what it felt like when my dog died, and all of a sudden I remembered that the rabbit goes around the tree and through the hole, and from then on I could wear two big-boy shoes again.
Author's Note: That last paragraph is sort of funny, but doesn't really fit in with the theme of the piece.
Author: And you think an impromptu conversation between the author and his notes does?
Author's Note: I don't think so, but I think you'll put it in anyway. I think you do it everytime the content is about to get more personal than you want it to and you want a quick way to end the post.
Author: What do you know? You're just a note, you're not even a full post.
Author's Note: Hey man, words hurt. Especially if you are made of words. That would be like me throwing another person on top of you.
Author: I'm sorry man. You're great. You're a great note.
Author's Note: Would you say I'm really important?
Author: Yeah man, you're really important. I couldn't do this without you.
Author's Note: Would you say that I'm a "Key Note".
Author: See, that's why I love you.
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I would definitely say that you digressed in that post in an extremely hilarious way. You were losing me until you got to the part about your velcro shoe on the left and then where you and your note were talking to each other. "key note". You kill me Geoff.
ReplyDelete"fight, flight or flux"
ReplyDeleteAt 3:30 am, I find this beyond hilarious to the point of reasonable.