Post-Pregnancy Parlance

So, the post I wrote tonight was about new parents, and I think it is hilarious, but way too many of my friends and family who read this blog are new parents and would think it was too dark. That said, please enjoy a not-at-all-dark post written in haste about rainbows and sunshine:

The pretty pink puppy pranced and preened and pulled the purple pouch properly placed prehind the poncho.

"Why I do declare!" said the child-friendly southern character. "We shall all eat like kings tonight."

And they all returned to the cottage where they were encircled in the loving embrace of a family that totally had control over the child rearing situation and were not at all paralyzed by the fear that they do not know how to raise children and never had dreams that they had ruined their child's life that caused them to wake up screaming as often as their infant did. (whoops some of it snuck right in there).