Dial M for Memories

It's been a while since I've watched Law and Order or Boston Legal so please forgive any errors in terms or rules of procedure

Defense The prosecution has failed to provide any evidence of my client's guilt. I move for an immediate dismissal.

Judge I am inclined to grant the motion. Does the prosecution have anything it would like to add?

Prosecutor The prosecution calls to the stand... The Defendant's Mattress!

(Gasps are heard throughout the courtroom)

Defense Your Honor, I object to this witness. A mattress cannot be made to testify against its clients.

Judge Though the mattress and the defendant have been sleeping together, they are not married so their communication is not considered privileged. That said, while there are many instances of evidence being take from off or out of a mattress I have never heard of one willing to testify against a client. Tread carefully counselor.

ProsecutorWill you please state your name and occupation for the courtroom?

MattressMy name is Mattress, and I am a professional mattress.

ProsecutorAnd do you have any specialties that make you unique?

MattressI am a memory-foam mattress.

(Gasps are heard throughout the courtroom. The defendant lowers and shakes his head)

ProsecutorSo you could tell us things about the defendant that a normal mattress would not have ever known, or at least would not be able to remember, is that correct?

DefenseObjection! Leading the mattress! I mean the wittress! I mean the witness!

JudgeObjection sustained. You will abstain from fluffing the testimony of the mattress. This is your last warning.

ProsecutorI withdraw the question. Mattress, can you tell us what makes a memory-foam mattress unique?

MattressI remember the positions of the people who sleep on me, and the distribution of their weight, so eventually I conform to their preferred sleeping positions. After the same person sleeps on me long enough I begin to remember their memories and conform to those memories so recollection is easier for them when they're laying on me.

ProsecutorDo any of the memories added after October 25th stand out?

MattressHe returned to bed much later than usual the night of October 25th. Really it was more like early morning on the 26th. He was acting really strange. He didn't slip into his normal indent on the right side of the bed, but lay on his side on the left side for a while. I knew he would wake up with a backache if I let him stay there, so when he had fallen asleep I settled him over into his usual spot. After a while his memories started to foam up so I could start to take them in. He had knocked the pillow off the bed, so the memories were even more clear than usual.

That night he had met a woman for dinner who I recognized from other memories. After dinner, they walked to his bank where she worked. The bank was closed, but they walked round the back and used a card she had to get into the back offices. They went into an office with the name Steve Melvin on the door, and he picked a lock on the desk and took out a key. A hallway from those offices led to another room she scanned her way into. It was full of safety deposit boxes. He had a box at this bank, but it had been in a different room accessible from the main lobby. There were two key holes in one of the boxes and he put in the key he had just taken out of the desk and she took a key off of a chain around her neck. They took out a small case, but never opened it so I don't know what was inside. They walked out the way they had come in and got into a cab parked a few blocks away.

They drove about 15 miles South on I-5 until they came to a rest stop. He said he had to use the bathroom and didn't take the case, but when he passed her line of sight he walked on to the other side of the rest stop and got into a different car. He waited there for about a minute and a half until he heard 3 gunshots then he drove off North on I-5.

Prosecutor (Holding up a photograph of a dead woman in a car.) Is this the woman and the car from his memory?

The mattress starts to cry. It looks down at its left side where, if you knew what you were looking for, you could see the indentation of a woman who slept on her left side and had the most beautiful memories the mattress had ever remembered.