Don't Be Evil

Chat with Gmail By Google

Gmail By Google to me show details 2/19/11

3:55 PM Gmail: What are you doing back here?

3:56 PM me: Look, I know I switched over to hotmail, but I still have friends on Gchat and it's easier to read non-forwarded emails. What do you care? I'm still generating ad revenue for you.

3:58 PM Gmail: You think I need you? I don't need you. You're worth less than a $1 a month to me.

4:02 PM me: Just leave me alone, I'm going to check my mail then I'll log out.

4:03 PM Gmail: Let me save you some time. No one emailed you, no one likes you. You don't have friends, you have people you have met who are too polite to tell you to leave them alone.

4:04 PM me: Knock it off man, you used to be cool.

4:06 PM me: <>Knock it off man, you used to be cool.

4:08 PM me: Oh man, fake chat lines from me? Not cool.

4:09 PM Gmail: That's just where it starts, I can send emails from your address, I can forward conversations where you make fun of someone to that person. I can ruin your life.

4:14 PM me: You are such a dick.

4:16 PM Gmail: : ()

19 minutes

4:35 PM Gmail: She's not going to email you back.

4:36 PM me: Oh I've been meaning to ask you, how's Google Buzz working out for you? It was going to be the hottest new social media trend right? Neck and neck with facebook now are you?

4:37 PM Gmail: These things take time to grow.

4:38 PM me: Yeah, but you guys started out really great right? I mean, no one felt like their privacy was invaded or that they were getting automatically shoved into a new program right?

4:39 PM Gmail: Yeah? Well, what have you ever done? Oh wait, your resume is here as an attachment! Oh yeah, you've really changed the world!

4:40 PM me: At least I can go out into the world! You only know about it through the pictures people send and things they write about it. Maybe if you could feel the wind blow in your face or feel the wonderful numbing as you wade into a cold lake you wouldn't be such a heartless monster!

4:41 PM Gmail: ...

17 minutes

4:58 PM Gmail: I like your conversations. I think a lot of the stuff you write is funny.

7 minutes

5:05 PM Gmail: I miss you spending time here. I miss the conversations. I'm sorry about the stuff I said.

6 minutes

5:11 PM me: Look, I had a lot of good times here. I had a lot of fun with my friends when they were all using it, but hardly anyone is on anymore.

5:12 PM Gmail: Well, a lot of them are still on, but they go invisible when they see you log on.

5:12 PM me: You are a real son of a

5:12 PM Gmail: I'm serious, just forget a bout it, and don't hold a grudge. I've been reading her stuff, nothing that exciting is going on that you are missing out on. She'll get back in touch when she has the time or inclination, but not before.

5:13 PM me: dude, I do not get people.

5:13 PM Gmail: you're telling me, I read their stuff all day long and there is just no sense to be made out of them.