Mozart and Midgard

I was putting together a montage of baby pictures today and thinking that Requiem Mass in D Minor is probably not the right background music unless this baby is a portent of dire events. At which point it occurred to me that that this information should show up in ultrasounds. At which point it occurred to me that these events could be pretty hilarious. At which point I wrote the interchange below. At which point I realized that while these events could be pretty hilarious this one was at best mildly amusing but I had already written it and hadn't posted anything in a while so here it is:


Ultrasound Technician: Looks like it's a girl. There's her fingers, and there's her toes. Uh oh, see that long straight line with the funny shapes at the end? That's the golden scepter of the Jotun. Your daughter will grow up to release Fenrir and the Midgard serpent in preparation for Ragnarok.
Pregnant Mother: That doesn't make any sense, we're catholic. Not that I want my daughter ushering in any sort of apocalypse, but if she's going to shouldn't it be a Christian apocalypse.
Less-Pregnant Father: Also, we're Brazilian. Wouldn't a Nordic baby be better suited for that sort of thing?
Ultrasound Technician: This is awkward. Look, there's a margin of error, maybe that's not a wolf's head on the scepter, it may be a hawk and she's destined to bring a bountiful harvest in Egypt, we won't know for sure until the third trimester. And even if she is destined to unleash the vile kin of Loki, that doesn't mean she won't be a good Catholic or embrace her Brazilian heritage. It just means that at some point the forces of chaos will use her to do their bidding.
She can still lead a very normal life, go to school, and have a family.
Less-Pregnant Father: I hear they're making some real progress is destiny avoidance therapy.
Ultrasound Technician: I'm not really qualified to discuss that, and you can certainly ask for a second opinion, but you'll want to schedule it for another clinic because Dr. Jonah here is a strong proponent against destiny avoidance.
Less-Pregnant Father: I thought his name was Baker?
Ultrasound Technician: A regrettable joke, I'm sorry. But seriously, don't worry so much, some of our best holidays come from a combination of Christian doctrine and European mythology.